On 27 July 2016, I took my first learning power profile, and the results were rather curious. Curiosity and Sense Making where the areas of strength for me, Hope and Optimism, Collaboration and Belonging not far behind. The areas that needed greatest improvement were Mindful Agency and Creativity.
On 19 October 2016, I took a second learning power profile and found results that were even more curious. Collaboration and Belonging had improved the most. This was not at all surprising because I felt that I had developed stronger relationships with my InSITE colleagues, and that this in turn fuelled an increase in working with them to overcome pedagogical and psychosocial issues that we all shared. In particular, the activity where we sat in one another’s classes and gave each other feedback was greatly beneficial, despite my initial scepticism. As a result, I felt included in the group, and felt at home within the group.
I saw a slight improvement in Mindful Agency and Sense Making. Again, results that weren’t dramatic at first glance. It appears that this program, as well as the work I’ve done with my supervising teachers has developed a pattern of reflective behaviour and thought within me. I’ve felt more responsible for my own learning, and in turn I’ve accumulated learning experiences that have become more profound and meaningful for me.
Surprisingly, a deficit had developed in Curiosity and Creativity. Astonishingly, Hope and Optimism saw the greatest decline of them all.
On reflection, I feel the decline in Curiosity and Creativity can be most attributed to the ‘block’, and the recency effect of it being the last significant learning experience before taking the profile may have influenced my response, and so, may have skewed my results.
Towards the end, I felt as though I had started going through the motions, so to speak. Creativity requires greater levels of risk-taking and playfulness. As time pressures built up and stress and anxiety levels were augmented during the block, I felt less inclined to take risks and play around with my lesson plans. In turn, I became more disposed to sticking to what I was most comfortable with – formulaic lessons with rigid progression and less inherent risk of failure.
I also felt my willingness to explore and discover new strategies also attenuate significantly. I noticed myself learning more on previous work, activities and strategies to devise my lessons rather than clean the slate and add my own teaching capital to lessons. This helps me understand why my levels of Curiosity declined from the previous profile.
The one that is most difficult to ascribe a reason for is Hope and Optimism. However, the writer here will attempt a satisfactory explanation. At the beginning of this journey, I thought, perhaps, that my progression would involve tangible results and feedback that would support me in having a more positive outlook on what I could achieve. I’ve found my tendency to perfectionism has often blinded me towards the progress I have made, which in turn has dulled my ability to look for the less obvious examples of growth in myself as a learner. One needs to look no further than my supervising teacher’s thoughts for verification of this theory.
Further, it may be that I’ve become more accurate in assessing my capacity to learn and grow. I was rather naive and ignorant of my attitude towards my own learning at the beginning of this journey. It is possible that I’ve become more self-aware, and more in tune with my strengths and weaknesses, resulting in me making more measured and precise responses.
Or, as the Spanish would say, “Por que no los dos?” The truth could be somewhere in the middle, a little more blindness to progress markers mixed with a little more cynicism.
Nonetheless, it did make for an interesting discussion with my peers.